Hello Again

Hi Guys,

Once again, sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I wish I knew what to write about. There is so much I want to say, and sometimes I just want to pour it all out here. Journaling has never been effective for me; for myself it seems redundant, I want someone to hear my thoughts and respond to them. At the same time, I don't want to lay myself bare. What if I write something and it causes someone to realize how much I suck? What if no one else agrees with me about something, and thus I end up thinking I'm nuts? But I really do want to become a "blogger" so what to do.... *sigh*

Nothing much else to report.

Love,

Carm

Why My Life is Good, Part 2 AKA When I Possibly Say The Thing I'm Not Supposed To

The second reason I consider my life to be good is because, well, I LIKE that my disability makes me different. You know that scene in Love and Other Drugs when Maggie goes to the alternative Parkinson's conference and there is a comedian there who says stuff that is only funny to other people with Parkinson's? Sometimes my life is like that...certain humor or experiences that others without disabilities/my disability might not understand, I get. For example, do you know what a friend of mine did when we had a Snow Day at my university? He built a snow mount and people tried to fly off of it in their wheelchairs. (I did not participate because I was already recovering from a broken leg that I had acquired in a completely non-fun way...but it sure looked fun.) Similarly, I just love how there are certain things in my life that only people with disabilities would understand, like how being an inch too far forward in your wheelchair really does make a difference in one's comfort level. I love how people in my life start fabulous organizations like 3E Love and how it's super exciting when they accomplish new goals for the first time. Overall, I just love how my life has a slightly different spin to it, it certainly keeps me on my toes! (Well, not literally. :)

*Disclaimer-This series of blog posts is solely reflective of MY views about having a disability. Certainly not all people with disabilities would agree with me, probably not even all of my friends with disabilities would agree with me, just wanted to make sure we're clear on that. :)

Why My Life is Good, Part 1

I decided that I wanted to do a series of posts on the blessings that I feel having a disability has brought to my life.* The first thing I thought I'd talk about is the joy of having Personal Assistants or PAs, as I am used to calling them. For a person who loves to hear people's stories as much as I do, seeing 2 or 3 different people in a day (or maybe more) is like heaven to me. The thing about having PAs - at least in my experience - is that you often get pretty close to them pretty fast. After they get used  to my care routine, there isn't much left to do but TALK (or listen to Taylor Swift or watch Regis and Kelly, Ellen and Rachel Ray :) )! Happily, this means I get to sometimes become the person who gets to hear the everyday things about people's lives. That test that was stressing a college student out a couple of days ago? I get to be the one to ask how it went. It's almost like I'm a person's roommate or significant other in the sense that sometimes I am the first or last person someone sees in a day, so I get to hear little details that other people either won't get to hear at all, or won't get to hear until later. It is an honor and a privilege to play that role in a person's life, and as each new phase of life begins and/or ends, I always miss the stories of former PAs.

For the PAs reading this, I hope that you know how much it means to me that you treated/continue to treat me like your friend and not just some JOB. Thanks for enjoying telling me things, needing to vent to me, and making me feel like we had/have a mutually beneficial relationship. I love you guys for that - and many other things - more than you could possibly know.

*Disclaimer-This series of blog posts is solely reflective of MY views about having a disability. Certainly not all people with disabilities would agree with me, probably not even all of my friends with disabilities would agree with me, just wanted to make sure we're clear on that. :)

5 Things I Loved About Today

Since I couldn't think of anything else to write about, I thought I'd do a post on five things I loved about today.

1) The weather-Since I no longer live in IL and as such am not constantly exposed to humidity during the summer, I don't really take gorgeous-weather days for granted. So when they come, I eat them up. Now if only I could figure out an easy way to get in my parents' pool...

2) My wrap from Tim Horton's -bacon, cheese sauce, egg, whole-wheat tortilla...MMM... For my American friends who are not aware, Tim Horton's is the Canadian equivalent of Duncan Donuts. It's a Canadian icon that has coffee that I actually LIKE. (This is a miracle.)

3) Finding out an old friend is engaged and appears to be living a very exciting life that's only going to get more exciting. I VERY MUCH hope we get to Skype soon.

4) Speaking of Skype, I love that I am really starting to use it now. Sooo easy and so fab, especially because the reception in my parents' house is HORRIBLE. (More Skyping, less cell phone chatting please people. :) )

5) Knowing that I get to see one of my favorite people tomorrow. :) A person who makes me laugh, challenges me, and just is genuinely a fabulous friend.

Family and Friends

As I said to someone in an e-mail the other day, I've always really loved the idea of friends becoming family/family not necessarily requiring a blood relationship. This idea was first shown to me through my childhood best friend's family's relationship with another family in their lives. The mothers had known each other since - I believe - the eldest children were very young, and now these children and the ones that followed referred to the parents as "Auntie" and "Uncle." The idea that one could CHOOSE whom they love in that familial way was a beautiful idea to me even at age seven or eight. Now, I've often felt/still feel a bit guilty with how enamored I am with this particular concept, because my blood-family is AMAZING, and I will be the first to tell you that I do not appreciate my spectacular parents NEARLY as much as I should (although I think I usually feel very aware of how lucky I am to have my sisters and amazing extended family). Still, the concept of non-blood family has always held an extremely special place in my heart.

One set of people that always come to mind when I think of my non-blood family are the Harpers (not their real name). I have known the mother of this family since I was eight and she was sixteen (not the same family discussed above). She was my camp counselor and we always had a special bond that intensified when she was my main Personal Assistant in grade 8. We lost touch for awhile due to moving but when we reunited about six years ago via e-mail, I knew that our bond was still there. Now she has four kids, and it was/has continued to be established that this means that I have three nieces and one nephew, and the last niece has one middle name that matches mine. I don't think the mother in this family knows exactly what it means when she says things like "So your nephew..." or tells me that when she dreams of big family trips I am included in them. It means everything: It means someone has chosen to love me so much that I hold a special place in their heart and life. It means I am invited to birthday parties even when I cannot attend, and am constantly asked by my eldest niece when I am coming to visit.

The Harpers are not the only heart family I have. There are other friends whose babies I know I will rock or whose kids' dance recitals I will try my utmost to attend (or at least make a surprise appearance at). Essentially it comes down to this: for me personally it feels good to be wanted and seeing similar themes in other people's lives just makes my heart sing because it's good to know there is that kind of love in the world.

Tell me about your non-blood family. I'd love to hear!

Why I Love Blogs

So since I just posted some of my favorite blogs, I thought my next post should be about why I have fallen in love with blogs in the last couple of years. Essentially, it is for a couple of reasons. First, literally my favorite thing in life might be hearing other people's stories. And an important part of all the blogs I love consists of people telling their stories, so every time I read a blog it's like catching up with people's stories. I'm in heaven. Those of you that know me in real life are aware that I have a big imagination, so I often fantasize about meeting my favorite bloggers either purposefully or by accident, like if I ran into Elizabeth Esther and her five kiddos and husband at the airport or if I visited Mary Kathryn at the make-up counter where she gives makeovers and encouragement. (MK, if you're reading this, don't be creeped out; imagining scenarios is just one of my quirks. :) ). If I ever actually meet any of the bloggers I love, it will legitimately be a dream come true; I hope it happens! As I said to Mary Kathryn on her blog the other day, it's not that I think bloggers are cooler than other people, it's simply that I get to know their hearts faster, which leads to me simply dying to AT LEAST have a good conversation with them and AT MOST be their friend. (I haven't found any bloggers I want to marry yet, except maybe Preston, because he wrote a beautiful letter to his future wife the other day, but I will keep you posted. :) )

The second reason I love blogs - at least the ones I read - is because they make me feel less alone on my faith journey. Turns out, I'm not the only person who has questions about Hell or why some parts of the Bible are difficult to understand or is unable to feel the love of God sometimes. I am a worrier so you have no idea how much more secure this makes me feel. Just like everything else in life, not feeling alone in exploring faith is a beautiful thing. So, as I said in the other post, please explore the blogs I have listed. Even if you don't agree with all they say, I promise you you will discover beautiful souls. In that spirit, do you have any favorite blogs? Let me know.

SOME blogs I Love

Hi,

After a looong (in "blogging time") time away from the blog, I'm back. I thought while I figure out other content to post, I'd make a list for you guys of SOME of my favorite blogs, since I promised a friend I'd make her a list anyway. Mostly, I read blogs that discuss or have the theme of Christianity woven through them. I'm not going to give synopses other than that because I am bad at those. I'd love for you to read them and tell me your thoughts. Seriously.

These are in no particular order:

Elizabeth Esther

Ministry so Fabulous

Beauty for Ashes-My first "blog friend" Mary Kathryn Tyson

Emerging Mummy

A Deeper Story: Tales of Christ and Culture

A Holy Experience

HopefulLeigh

These are some of the blogs whose posts I anxiously await. Please go explore.

And just to remind you of a couple of my "in real life" friends that have blogs, Amanda , Maddie and Melanie

Enjoy, and stay tuned for another post tonight or tomorrow!

And...I'm Back AKA Things I Love

Things I Love:

1) Even though I don't see/talk to them all the time remembering that I have many people in the world who love me and who I love.

2) The many things I have to look forward to in the next few months. These include my friend Abby's wedding weekend (!!!!!!!!!) complete with a bonus visit with one of my favourite people, a "stay-cation" with another friend and her son (and their birdies!) a trip to see my heart-sister and her family, and more.

3) The fact that my friends allow me to be there for them when they need me, even though sometimes I am lucky enough to do it well and sometimes not.

4) Admiring the talents and unique things that my friends can do/love. More on this soon, I hope. Stay tuned!

5) Remembering that adventures can take many different forms, and I can still have many fabulous adventures even if I don't leave my current city.

6) A booked called One Thousand Gifts  that showed me that God really is always there.

Tell me some things YOU love! Seriously, I want to know!

What I Have Been Up To

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted for like a week. I promise it won't be this long between posts again. I really want to keep this up. I decided the next logical thing to write about would be what I have been up to, many of my in-real life people know some or all of this, but not everyone. so here it goes.

I have a couple of volunteer positions right now. One is for a centre that serves kids with disabilities from birth to age 18. The centre has social workers, physical and occupational therapists, speech pathologists and its own preschool. Right now, I am doing mostly administrative work but I think I am going to get to interact with some of the older kids more soon and I can genuinely tell that my education and intelligence is valued which I so appreciate. In the late summer and fall, I think I am going to get to help organize a big professional development day for the Centre, so I am looking forward to that. The other organization where I do reception work is a Centre for Independent Living. It's essentially a place where people can come and receive and learn about a whole bunch of information related to disability. The people at the one I volunteer with have been more than welcoming, and I look forward to continuing there.

As for my social life, I am attending a Young Adults Group at a church where I am meeting a lot of great people, including Amanda, whose blog you should check out. (Side note to Amanda and Maddie: If you guys had time, I would totally say you should become long-distance friends, you two would L. O. V. E. each other for sure.) I really hope to keep being involved in the group, and for my friendships with the people there to grow.

I have also met some amazing friends/Personal Assistants (PAs) who have already brought so much in to my life, including lessons in how to really love everything about life, that age really doesn't matter when building friendships and learning and loving one another, and that really short girls can PA for you very well if you have the right equipment. ;). I am so so thankful for them each and every day.

I am truly beginning to love my life here although I miss my Illinois people more than I can say. I would especially love to be at U of I right now as so many people I know are celebrating graduation/the last week of school/presumably nicer weather than where I am (although to be fair I do not know if the last one is true and am to lazy to look it up. :) ). Know that I love you all and think of you even if we don't talk, and I will never forget you.

That's all I have to say for now, but I hope to post more soon. Happy spring!

Hello World!

Hi everyone!

I'm Carmen. I'm a nearly 27 year-old girl who fell in love with blogs about a year or so ago, so inspired by them and my lovely friend Maddie Mier I decided it was time to start my own. I'm hoping my real-life friends will read it but I'll also get to start connecting with people in the online community, because I am a horrible "lurker" and that needs to stop. :) Also inspired by Maddie, I am now going to tell you ten things about me, some of which my real-life friends will already know, and some they might not.

1) I use a wheelchair and this is (mostly) something I am very OK with and even proud of. I believe God created me this way on purpose, and He has given me many blessings through it. One of these blessings have been my fabulous friends (many of who have either been my Personal Assistants or have disabilities themselves). A second blessing very much tied to the first was living in an accessible dormitory now known as Nugent Hall , previously called Beckwith Hall (when I lived there). Both of these are designed specifically for students with physical disabilities. The community there - as well as other fabulous services at the University of Illinois - gave me more strength, confidence and support than they will ever know. I miss it a lot and will ALWAYS consider my time at both Beckwith and Daniels Hall (where I lived after Beckwith) to be some of the best times of my life.

2) For the most part I am NOT a fan of ice cream, sometimes it hurts my teeth to even think about it.

3) I have never been anywhere outside of Canada or the U. S. While not as much of a travel-bug as some of my friends, I do hope to go somewhere FABULOUS some day.

4) My favorite foods are probably steak and Chinese food; also I like main-course food MUCH better than dessert usually.

5) Nothing makes me happy like good conversation.

6) Music can also always make my day.

7) I am much better one-on-one than in groups. I am working on this because I really want more groups of friends.

8) I wish I was less selfish and better at loving people.

9) I have never been kissed. Definitely on my so-far very short bucket list. One other thing is ride a motor cycle. What else should be on it? Seriously, feedback welcome!

10) I am trying to figure out my opinions on God and fall in love with Him.

11) (Bonus but important): The title of my blog is meant to honor my disability and also because I'm kind of hoping this blog will inspire me to live a more adventurous life.

Hope you liked my list! I hope i can keep up with this blogging idea! :) And I'd love ideas for other posts!